Tue, 16 Oct 2007
Zombies For Dummies
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37 Responses to “Zombies For Dummies”
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October 16th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Ha, hilarious… I’m so tempted to print that and stick it on the fridge at work. The fridge is currently sporting instructions on how to deal with injesting toxic waste – due to all the decomposing lunches in it.
I think I should leave the toxic waste one up a few more days…
October 17th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Uh oh, I think your brother DJM may be a Zombie… and he’ll eat anything.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
If a Baconator had brains, I’d still eat it.
October 18th, 2007 at 9:13 am
Baconator?
October 18th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
The best sandwich ever.
http://www.wendys.com/food/Product.jsp?family=1&product=4
May 26th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Omg, I’m so fucking sure that there will be a massive zombie attack in 2012, watch out guys, this is serious, always get 3 week of food at your home, be sure that you can be protec by your house and stay there, only moove if you’re sure that you’ll comeback alive, and always get 3 fire weapons at home,(1 large gun like shotgun or machinegun, 1 sniping gun like hunting rifle and 1 easy to use rifle like handguns and etc. Keep always a large weapon like cleaver or sword with you, and be sure that your home is protect. Be safe, and watch out, zombies are mad.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:12 am
yh sure But the most important question is DO U HAVE PROOF THAT ZOMBIES EXIST?
February 4th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
becouse the myans were predicting zombies and not a solar flare, or new year they made that tablet for only you to understand. thanks man for shareing this with us who do not have the world orbiting them
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:03 am
Can’t wait for that. I’m sure I could take on a couple of zombies, though not for my whole life :/
Also, there are a couple people out there that I wouldn’t mind see get eaten.
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Personnaly,I sharp my 2 Katana every night, and I make some defense plan to know where I must hide myself to protect me and the other guys that will be with me.
I hate zombies
P.s, AK-47 is usefull, but don’t use it like a automatic riffle, use it to snipe the bastards, or use it at will if you have a good ammo suply
But remember, swords are ulimited and there is no ammo with them
, but it’s dangereous to face some frenetic bastards if you’re too close.
AK-47 is nice
June 5th, 2008 at 7:36 am
no. always use a shotgun. you can kill more with 1 shot
June 5th, 2008 at 7:38 am
but AK-47 would work too, anti-zombie
June 5th, 2008 at 7:40 am
wanna start a club?
June 5th, 2008 at 7:58 am
you guys are hilarious
June 6th, 2008 at 10:33 am
You REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY need a zombie club definitely…..really
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Why use a club? Shooting zombies is much easier.
February 4th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
*mario game over music*
June 25th, 2008 at 11:22 am
If there was a zombie attack… i would probaly baracade my self i my room… i no some time we would need to get out, but i would wait till the military had a stong hold. if the military was wiped out or they couldnt react in time, i would have some zombir killin fun
June 25th, 2008 at 11:45 am
exactly. I never understand why in the movies no one can just stay put!
June 28th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
You know what’s the best defensive way?
Do what Will Smith did in I Am legend.
Baracade yourself at night, and go out in the morning.
Put steel sliding doors on my doors and windows.
have an arsenal of weaponry in your closet.
a dog (or anyone else) to keep you company.
and Spam.
mmmmm Spam
June 30th, 2008 at 9:47 am
you had me until spam.
October 20th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I love zombies and I would love to meet one! I hear that zombies make the best boyfriends! hahahaha.
October 20th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
[...] Written by: Skinny Lady There’s a growing population of meat-eating vegetarians, and they even have a name: flexitarians. You know what I call these people? Idiots. Meat-eaters who eat vegetables don’t call themselves flexitarians, and neither do anorexics who rarely eat meat or vegetables – though both arguably could. And what about people who occasionally feed on human flesh? They’re technically flexitarians too. Unless they’re dead, and then they’re just zombies. [...]
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
you guys are nuts you don’t use a shotgun or a machine gun for zombies. a shotgun really doesn’t have all the much penetrating power at distances unless your using slugs and a machine gun is just too inaccurate. a machine gun is only good for putting alot of rounds down range for supressing fire against HUMANS. and a sword isn’t any good either the blade will dull with time or possibly break your best bet for a close range weapon is a war hammer or a crow bar (crow bar has multiple uses) and as far as fire arms go get a hunting rifle for range a pistol for CQC (close quarters combat) and a sub machine gun with semi auto selector for room clearing. and remember always aim for the head
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
One word: UZI
February 27th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I would love to have a years worth of supplies a high point and a sniper rifle with lots of ammo in that senerio
May 20th, 2009 at 4:05 am
yea. zombies are awesome. if i was about to die id go “the Last samurai” on their asses! lol.
June 4th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
As the owner of an AK-47 of coarse I’m going to say it would be good for the zombie situation because of it’s durability and punch. However, I think any rifle would work great for dropping zombies with proper training and proper upkeep of the weapon.
My AK has a bayonet, so in a pinch that might be handy as well!
July 11th, 2009 at 1:38 am
use a .22 long rifle for longer range..you dont need much power to kill them and ammo will be every where for it, and of course you’ll need an AK and also a pistol that your comfortable shooting. a sword/machete also isnt a bad idea, even though it will dull it can always be sharpened again.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:45 am
Alrighty, everyone, listen up. What you want is a reasonably accurate weapon, a hunting rifle and the like will work, a machete or other bladed or blunt weapon capable of servering limbs or crushing the skull. You CAN use a hand gun, but ONLY as a back up last ditch weapon. If you panic, all your bullets are gonna do is attact even more zombies.
If zombies attack, head upstairs to your attic or second floor with as much food, water and nessersary meds as you can, pull up the ladder, and you should be fairly safe from the shambiling hordes. They’ll break in, wander about, and leave.
if you are in a two story, try demolishing the stair case with tools, and zombies, who cannot climb well, shouldn’t be able to reach. Filling up every bath tub and sink and bucket you have with tap water as well.
DO NOT USE FIRE! Many a person has thought that they could control an exposed fire, only to destroy their surroundings, or even kill themselves.
And biggest one of all, pack a dynamo powered radio, earplugs, and at least a hundred rounds of bullets for each of your liscenced civvilan weapons. It’s no good having a high tech killing machine if the bulets at your local hunting supllies only have 30. rimfire rounds, or if the local cops throw you in jail for having illegal firearms.
Oh, and don’t discout Rimfire. Those little bullets work wonders against a zombie skullat close range. just keep in mind, they hoave no stopping power. Former president Regan got shot, and didn.t notice until an hour later.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Jacob, you took that except out of The Zombie Survival Guide. and the Regan shot from history, but thats pretty much it really. Go with a long rage rifle like a .22 rimfire, or if your able to a good Springfield can put a good size hole in a zombie’s skull with a .30 bullet. For mid range, go with a regular assault rifle like an M4 or an AK, but never go full auto otherwise you will waste bullets and that aint fun. Shotguns barely work unless your in a CQB (Close Quarters Battle) but go with buck shots.
Machine guns never work unless going against Humans, unless your Sgt. Charles Hathcock who can put a .50 cal round into the skull of a veitcong, but if your not, then say no to the Machine Gun.
For short range, go with a reliable pistol, like the Colt M1911 .45 for an example, since that particular pistol has been in service since World War I.
And for hand weapons, a good crowbar can be used for many things, but also bring a good edged weapon, like my personal favorite, the Katana.
When on the move, cut the hair, no baggy clothes always bring enough supplies along and travel in small groups of 5-6 people, never big groups. Also to remember, use silencers for your weapons if you have them, if not you can always use other silenced weapons like a crossbow or maybe a regular composite Bow.
October 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am
dudes machine guns and shotguns are very unlikely for a head shot, so ill stick with the .22 ruger
October 30th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
if a zombie’s in range of a .22, you’re already dead
November 25th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
i kill a zombie using facts from the zombie survival guide and world war z. of course facts dont kill. a louisville slugger to the fuckin head does.
November 25th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
hi guys me again. i was looking at the news and uh… massive epidemic in ny. not zobis but i live here so. i had to fend for myself. a dude at the subway tried to bite me but a cop ran over and shot him to death. iwas almost bitten. luckily it was not the T virus (zombie disease) but rabies. and it was not an epidemic just one man. happy thanks killin- i mean giving. stay alive friends.
January 20th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
if a zombie ate your brains, you wouldnt come back. if you have no brain, whats telling your body what to do?
March 28th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Thanks for this great blog.