“You can do it, we can help?” Um, no. I don’t want to do it. I’m not that into it. I lived in other people’s furnished rentals with my perfect husband for over three years for a reason. Like I keep telling you, we’re trying not to be those guys, all wrapped up in this house and nothing else. Come on, we’ve gotta stay COOL. Here’s my pitch for your new set of commercials:

“You won’t be here all day” Commercial

Camera shows parents resignedly giving money and lists to cute babysitter who takes three kids and waves as parents get in car. Parents are then shown at Home Deopt, overwhelmed. Scene cuts to babysitter and kids having a blast at the park. Then to parents fighting. Home Depot guy shows up and gives them an idea that’s all ready to go, and they get home hours earlier.

Who wants to spend the weekend at Home Depot? Admit it – I know there are SOME of you out there. We’re just not in that club. We knew home ownership would change things. And we even thought at our OLD AGES we’d be happier to embark on this journey of house flipping. But no.

MK is doing better than I am. He sees tools and crap he’s never owned and his eyes light up. I on the other hand, am still in the camp that if you don’t just decide something, and paint it, and whatever, it’ll never get done. And who cares if the faucet is silver or bronze? Not me and probably not our guests.

So, Home Depot, stop acting like taking up my weekend is cool. Tell me you want me in and out. And tell my husband to get whatever he wants, he’s earned it. And then we can go to the park.