Contrary to popular belief, this blog has nothing to do with how you go into the good night (that would be gently). It’s actually a reference to the song BLUE LINES by my favorite band ever, MASSIVE ATTACK. Just wanted to finally clear that up.
I was born and raised on the East Coast by the awesomest family ever, and beat up on my two younger brothers until they grew much, much bigger than me. I moved to Austin, TX because of my awesome aunts, and went to the University of Texas, the best college in the world. I fortunately met the hottest guy there and he forced me to marry him. He now forces me to sit around at home while he wins bread, and takes me all over the world on trips and to live in new places. My life rules.
Does:
- Live a nomadic life right now.
- Have concerns about the size of my fiveforehead.
- Think about publishing all these books I’m writing.
- Listen better than ever.
- Know how to have a good laugh.
- Rock the Oxford Comma.
- Root for the Red Sox.
- Sing in the shower.
- Obsess about zombies.
- Watch too much TV on the internet.
Doesn’t:
- Know when to keep mouth shut.
- Bite nails.
- Collect rocks.
- Trip like you do.
- Understand why things aren’t always solved with Rock, Paper, Scissors.
- Play nearly enough board games.
- Litter!
- Miss being an awkward teenager.
- Want to turn into a mommy blogger…
- Believe in ghosts or aliens, sorry.
Mon, 19 Mar 2007 at 5:44 pm
So I finally read your entire blog, EVERY SINGLE ENTRY from the beginning of time, and I want to make two observations:
1. You are a skinny bitch (and I so love you for it!) Congratulations on the SIZE 3 PANTS!! My fat, still-ocassionally-clad-in-maternity-clothes-nine-months-after-giving-birth ass is jealous, but proud!
2. I am SO GRATEFUL that you haven’t included any posts about this friend of yours who had a baby and totally let herself go and, like, only showers twice a week and can’t talk about anything but her baby. It would be your blog’s jumping-the-shark moment. I’m warning you. Seriously. Just don’t. EVER.
LOVE!!!
p.s.– this blog kind of makes you like a cyber-celebrity. Make me feel special and call me for lunch sometime! That is, if you hang with people who can only wear your pant-size, squared…..
Tue, 20 Mar 2007 at 11:05 am
Response to all of what you said = whatever.
Oh, but thanks for reading.
Wed, 13 Jun 2007 at 2:47 pm
Your lists of “does”s and “doesn’t”s is most informative. I think I can help with one of your “doesn’t”s. More specifically, I think that by following the following link, you’ll see just what I mean.
http://www.samkass.com/theories/RPSSL.html
Once you’ve examined that link, you may also wish to play rock, paper, scissors, spock, lizard. Fortunately for all human and ROBOT kind, the net is filled with useful things to satisfy desires like the one that you may be experiencing just after following said link and by using my psychic powers, I’ve determined that you’re by yourself with your computer and thus have no human players handy. So, always wanting to be of service to people who go to the bother of reading longwinded comments, I hereby provide you with another link:
http://asymmetric.net/feature.php?rpssl
Thu, 14 Jun 2007 at 3:08 pm
I have been playing all day…
Thu, 28 Jun 2007 at 1:37 pm
Hey, I love your lists. If you want the R-rating, just do what Rootie did and post some really bad-ass post.
Glad you stopped by and that you found something to take home. Come back anytime, sometimes we’re downright crazy.
Mon, 16 Jul 2007 at 7:36 pm
Thanks for coming by my blog…you do realize it’s Vancouver, BC, Canada…a very un-Republican place…but I hope you were welcomed. I’m here to check out your blog but haven’t spent the time to read it yet. I have an assignment due for school…will come back…
Mon, 16 Jul 2007 at 7:57 pm
I’m becoming more and more un-Republican myself, but regardless that never affects me, especially coming from Austin! Thanks for visiting.
Thu, 18 Oct 2007 at 6:41 am
Hi, and thanks for stopping by my blog (and commenting!). If you don’t remember doing it, that’s OK, because it was a couple of months ago.
Your blog is great and you write so well (uncommon for the web). I love the ’some …’ categories in the sidebar.
Peace! Enjoy the weekend.
Thu, 18 Oct 2007 at 9:14 am
Thanks so much! I do sometimes wonder if my wit is lost on others. Glad you noticed my tags, and thanks for coming by.
Tue, 6 Nov 2007 at 10:00 pm
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Your life DOES rule!!!!
I’ll join you for the Friday Fives.
Wed, 7 Nov 2007 at 3:51 am
I LOVE that karate graphic. It has a one-two punch. I thought, wow she has a black belt that’s impressive.
OH! In keepin’ it REAL! YES, my kinda gal!
Wed, 7 Nov 2007 at 8:44 am
Matilde- Adding you to the list. Yay!
Cardiogirl - Thanks for reading, come back often, you’re hilarious.
Wed, 14 Nov 2007 at 3:21 pm
In regards to “Doesn’t #10″
if you HAD to choose…which would you be more likely to start believing in - ghosts or aliens? i choose ghosts, cuz i saw a blue ghost on a gas station surveillance camera - it was on that CNN so it must be TRUE!
Sat, 22 Dec 2007 at 12:48 pm
Not sure how you dropped off my radar. I do know, actually, but it might not be that interesting to you, so I won’t elaborate. Have added you to my reader and will check back… after Christmas, probably. Have a great holiday season. Cheers!
Tue, 3 Jun 2008 at 6:58 am
Hey SGS’s,
We Moo-ster’s live in Bryan/College Station just down the road. My wife is from Foggia, Italy and I am a Texas mutt. We have six kids and are in the last stages, before we buy a MooPig-Hut and travel the country: as number six is a 7th grader.
Nice to meet neighbors, no matter how near or far.
Best regards,
MooPig aka Pat Darnell and Family
Tue, 3 Jun 2008 at 10:51 am
Well thanks for introducing yourself! I blogrolled you too…
Sun, 27 Jul 2008 at 7:58 pm
Awesome blog site! Great random stuff. This made my day. I’ll definitely check back and such.
Mon, 28 Jul 2008 at 2:10 pm
Hey thanks!